Getting to know one another

We’re all so busy, so consumed with our day-to-day tasks and checklists, that we don’t spend enough time really listening, enquiring, showing real interest, getting to know one another well.

How often do we meet someone new, make polite cursory conversation, exchange business cards perhaps, and go our separate ways? Perhaps we are introduced to a friend of a friend – how often when that occurs do we walk away with only their name in our heads and nothing else?

Over the past weekend, this came up in discussion amongst friends, one of whom is Italian. She expressed frustration with the North American communication style, with its emphasis on our work rather than our play. Think about it – two common questions when first introduced are ‘What do you do?’ and ‘Where do you work?’ As if there’s nothing else to talk about, our work defines us. Gak. My Italian friend emphasized that both of those questions would be looked upon with disdain in most of Europe – initiating a conversation with someone new based upon their work is considered impolite.

Why is it in North American conversation that politics and religion are considered taboo topics even amongst close friends? Are we so concerned about offending each other? Why don’t we spend more time discussing (nee debating) key issues in our society around us, particularly in these difficult times? Why is it that we’re quick to discuss our work, but hardly ever do we enquire of each other’s health, or the interests and pursuits of our families and friends?

We should all consider these points when meeting someone new:

• Shift the focus to the other person – ask questions until it hurts
• Listen eagerly to their responses
• Ask questions about their interests, their passions, their family, their friends
• Delve into topics of interest to them, whether or not those topics might be contentious
• Explore common ground to develop a relationship quickly

Work getting you down?

Times are tough, no doubt, and we’re all stressed by the uncertainty of it all. If you need a break, and a good reason to smile, try three of these and call me in the morning.

YouTube #1 : “Stand By Me” – around the world. It would have been wonderful to be a part of creating this film. It’s a strong reminder that we each stand by each other through tough times.

YouTube #2 : OK, maybe you don’t like Robin Williams, and maybe for his fans this material on the American political scene isn’t as manic as it once was, but you know, it’s still pretty darned good. Guaranteed to elicit at least one guffaw and a couple of chuckles – at the very least. 

YouTube #3 : Finally, if you’re having a tough day, just think of these ants – carrying loads 4 times their size the ant equivalent of a 1/2 mile to the surface, in the end moving 4 tonnes of earth to build a community over 500 sq metres in size. Be patient, after the 3min mark, the scale of their construction is exposed. Now that is teamwork – a collective will.

Buying a car

So, I don’t know about you, but I haven’t bought a lot of cars in my lifetime to date. Four, to be precise – of which two were private sales and two were dealer sales. The two dealer sales were almost 20 years apart. So it made sense to me that, before making our most recent auto purchase, I should bone up on a practical approach to the purchase. We knew the make/model we wanted, and the options, so it was largely a matter of keeping our eyes open and our ears to the ground to find the right vehicle. The odds were that we would end up buying through a dealership, so I tried to refresh my knowledge of how to give ourselves any advantage we could at a dealership. 

Two websites that I found, late in my online education, were probably the most helpful, and certainly the most entertaining to read/watch. “How to Buy a Car without Getting Screwed” is a short, quick, witty tour through the process of dealing with the dealers.  ”Buying a Car” is more detailed, a longer read, not applicable perhaps in every situation, but there are definitely some useful nuggets and some oft-repeated advice that goes a long way, and I like the author’s approach. Of course, the 2008 Canadian Fuel Consumption Guide should be ‘de rigeur’ reference when considering your purchase. 

In the end, did we follow all of the suggestions and guidelines? No – in the end, it was a very quick decision after a test drive because the vehicle in question was -exactly- what we wanted, aside from its colour. Did we get a good deal? I believe so. Did the dealer get a good deal? I believe so. Am I happy with our purchase? Absolutely. However, in the end, after all of the research and background learning, I was pleased to be able to go into a quick purchase armed with a bit more knowledge and foresight. 

Striking images of challenging problems

From TED.com, watch Chris Jordan’s presentation of his striking imagery, http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/view/id/279

It’s thought provoking (unless you’re insensitive to our societal ailments) and the quiet intensity of his presentation is admirable. I was struck by the end of the presentation that he had the audience in the palm of his hand – you could have heard a pin drop in that room.

He’s right – sometimes the sheer numbers involved in the problems we face globally are numbing, and we simply can’t grasp their scale, so we push them aside, out of mind. His attempt to make the scale of the issues graphical and familiar to us all brings the power of analogy to bear, aiding our comprehension of the issues.